White Privilege and a lotta bit of BRUNCH

WOMANIST
 

White privilege. Every semester, I go back to Mason and speak to the Multicultural Counseling class in the Counseling Masters program. I love going back because it was my favorite class and the class I learned the most about myself in, aside from the group counseling class. I along with 2 others will speak and attempt to elicit convo from the class. Well this time I went back and the class was very White washed, moreso than any other class I've been to, or even my own from 2012. They were a smart bunch and I sat on the panel quiet, so quiet, one of the panelists asked "are you okay" and he didn't believe me because I usually talk a little more. At that point, I looked at the class and said "you all are talking a lot, and it appears as though you have a grasp of this race dialogue we're having, but then I realized you're simply intellectualizing it and nothing is being felt or coming from the heart when you speak". The other panelists left, I stayed, and somehow, someway they began to speak from the heart. Tears ran down the faces of the students. So when white privilege is discussed and others have difficulty with the topic, or even believing that it exists, just remember, white privilege is having the ability to deny that it exists and because of your denial people of color appear to be suffering paranoid schizophrenia. I will never forget learning that when a schizophrenia assessment is given to clients of color, the administrator has to be certain they take into account the fact that Black people scrore significantly higher on the paranoia subset. Meaning, Blacks are more likely to display paranoid characteristics, because it's become a surival skill to be watchful of microaggressions.

 

There was only one White guy in the class and a panelist asked him a VERY direct question that I couldn't even answer. So I kind of switched it to say "how do you feel being a White man, knowing that a Black woman fears you". He again had difficulty, but I simply empathized and reflected his behavior when asked "you look like you feel awkward...it's a difficult space to be in". With that, he began to feel what was being asked of him...He as a White man, is in a very powerful position and he had no clue until that class. What an awakening to have: to realize that you have power, then be told, but it's not a good power, and we (people of color) need you to be able to do something productive with that power.

 

 

 

DOMESTICATED

 

So my partner in crime, Justyn, and I went to Zengo for brunch. We LOVE Zengo. I took him there, against his will, on our first date, so it's always special to me. But this was our first time going for brunch and it truly did not disappoint. The way Zengo does their brunch is essentially a boughy buffet, meaning, it's all you can eat, but you place your order for items you want. It's $39/pp for endless small plates and all-you-can-drink mimosas. $39 is a bit pricey, but for the goodness that was served it was worth it and it's not even worth complaining about. I've def paid more for a meal with my secret dinner crew. My suggestion for Zengo would be to make their menus like sushi menus at restaurants, disposable paper cards that you check off each item you want and how many. Maybe I'm greedy? Quite possibly, but I wanted to be sure I tried every single thing I had my eyes  heart set on. With that being said, I instead located a pen (I didn't have a pencil, because I hate those childish things) and I put a small dot next to each item on the menu that we ordered. The menu can be found here.

 

 

Handi Pandan Waffles. They came out cold, so I can't even give it a proper review. The next item came out cold too, once I asked the waiter if that was intentional, he made sure everything else was nice and warm.

Peking Duck chilaquiles. Definitely NOT a fan. This was the other cold item, but I didn't like wudeva seasoning situation was on the nacho-esque corn tortillas.

Short Rib hash. Jesus probably died for my sins, just so I could eat this and...

THESE LOBSTER GRITS! Let me tell you how greedy I was...I wanted to crush this entire bowl, but knowing that grits stick to your ribs, I ate as much as I could without getting too satisfied, to save space for the other orders.

 Bacon and Scrambled Egg steamed bun. Not a fan. The eggs are clearly processed. I wanted to try the steamed bun because I see it on food network in Asian countries.

Bacon fried Rice. mediocre. I mean it's hard to mess up anything that has bread and bacon in it. I also didn't waste space in my stomach for this item, since it was so average.

Angry zengo roll. Usually I stay away from sushi that has avocado in it, although I like it avocado, but this was pretty darn good.

Achiote-Hoison Pork Arepas. You know how mothers have a fave child (although they'll lie and say they don't), this was definitely my favorite child. The arepa (the yellow bottom) was crispy and crunchy, while the pork was tangy, smoky, and sweet, mixed with the cream on top. My goodness. Next time we go, I'll def order 3 plates of these first (3 come on a plate) for Justyn and I to share. The saddest part was I barely had space in my tum for it.Cuz remember the whole time we're drinking passion fruit, guava, and and pomegranate mimosas.

Thai chicken empanadas. By this point, anything we ate was a blur. This was good but the fact that my tum was full, took away from the true experience of my taste buds.

Angus beef & pork meatballs. Well, you know we just had to try one last thing before "last call". Shameful.

So while we're drinking and eating our lives away. Our friends (meaning, Justyn's friends, but you know how when you've been together for so long, his friends become yours, and yours become his) were partaking in the mimosa march, so we linked up with them nearby. This...right...here...The Wobble came on. LOL! Justyn clearly loves the wobble CC: Bermuda cruise post.

LMAO!

Of course, it's night time now and we're a lil intoxicated. So we went to Shake Shack. Justyn and I split this meal. Major side eye to the both of us because we both wanted more. This mistake will never happen again.

 

 

 



Blue Duck Tavern & Taste of DC

Tuesday, my hair is giving me a major attitude. I was sitting at work willing and ready to curse any and everybody out, all cause when I left my house I had some bomb curls, then I caught myself in the mirror and I magically had a fro. I was beyond pissed, I couldn't even take it. I was so embarrassed when I looked in the mirror, I end up having a different hairstyle cuz I had to pull it into a bun later.

Please believe me when I say, my hair was ABSOLUTELY LAAAAAAAAAIIIIDDDDD this weekend though. Hmph! I blow dried my hair, then 2-strand twisted it into bantus. Make sense? cool. When I blow dry my hair before doing natural styles, it gives me more length (obviously) and makes my hair fluffy, light, and airy. Oh I just love it! I wish I could put that heat to my hair every week, but I did it twice in a row this month, so I won't be doing that again for a while.

So Jamie had a birthday and we went to Blue Duck Tavern in GeorgeTown. It just so happened to be on my 60+ item "Places to Eat" list so I was excited. Of course I perused the menu prior to arriving...and by prior to arriving I mean when she sent out the invite. This is the bone marrow with a parmesan crust. That's a bed of sea salt on the bottom and roasted garlic. I spread the bone marrow on top of the bread and it tasted like gelatonous bacon. It was amazing.

Jamie. Aint she a beaut. That's the apple pie the restaurant is famous for as well, they served it with ice cream. The apples were clearly fresh because they were a bit tangy.

Sifrina Arepa from Taste of DC. The lady who took my order was impressed by my Spanish, I guess she couldn't tell that I was Dominican ;) I picked the first food item we'd all try and from there we took turns. The majority of us were adventerous eaters, so we had a ball.

Pork and cabbage dumplings. THIS. COLESLAW. WAS. THE. BEST. ISH. EVER! It had an amazing ginger taste to it, the ginger politely overpowered all other flavors.

It's really how funny how small the world actually is. This is my bestfriend from 2nd grade. We went to school together in Fredericksburg and she went to college with my bestfriend from 7th grade, Jamie. Amazing right?

Le crew.

Okay, so let me explain these next few pics that are actually me shouting. So at Taste of DC you use tickets to get drinks, we didn't buy any but by the end of the function we were tipsy. Wherever we walked, black women were just giving us their tickets left and right. That's the plus of coming about halfway into the event too, please are leaving for the first half and trying to get rid of their tickets. So this is my "we got free drinks shout". Please believe I love me some wine.

This chicken was supposed to be for Justyn but the tipsy munchies kicked in.

This wine was at the event and they had it at Total Wine, so Justyn got some for us. I also signed up for their rewards program too :)

Last weekend was Sheena's bday and she had a brunch at A-Town in Arlington, it was a buffet breakfast. Apparently it's illegal in VA to have bottomless brunches, so it wasn't bottomless. They had a wide array of food on the buffet though, sushi, tomato and mozz salad, grilled veggie salad, spiced shrimp (the good big crunchy kind), all the breakfast stuff u could imagine, bacon (the good kind, it tasted like Oscar Meyer, you know most restaurants carry that cheap thin bacon), fried chicken (which was actually seasoned well), an omelette station, and desserts. I ate so much I didn't have room for any other food the rest of the day. Sad.

Got these cheeses from BJ's, I was excited because I had a coupon too.

Looks like I'm making a banana pudding, but it's actually plantain for my no-pasta lasagna.

Meat sauce and fat-free cottage cheese go on next.



Followed by slices of the aged Vermont white cheddar from the Sargento Tastings.

Zucchini slices were next.

Of course another layer of meat sauce and cottage cheese.

Kraft is the only brand I've found that makes fat-free cottage cheese.

Then add a layer of some shredded cheese (I went light with it, le sigh) and some bread crumbs for a lil crunch and texture.

#SnackHealthy

Waiting for a ring...

Before we get to the title of this post, here's what's happening: 1) I'm limiting my cheese intake and it hurts me to my soul. Well maybe not my soul, but it def hurts my tastebuds. I eat salads Monday-Friday for dinner and I always put cheese on them, but now I'm finally getting serious about what I put in my body. Cheese serves no real purpose, but to make ish glorious, so I had to deny said gloriousness to cut calories. Without cheese on my salads Mon-Friday my guess is I'm saving between 450-600 (most likely in the 600s) calories each week. On the weekends, I'll allow myself cheese in my eggs. Monday-Friday I also only eat egg whites, not whole eggs when I want a warm breakfast (I've done this for a while now though), but I was also putting cheese in my egg white omelet. Now I'm not going to lie, it's def a difference without the queso, but when I sauteed sweet yellow onion to go in with the greens, it was better, so I'll likely stick with that, maybe I'll even make some pico de gallo or add salsa verde next time. Mmm yummmy! 

Egg white omelet with spinach sans the cheese. Seasoned with salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper flakes. Baked sweet potato fries.

Justyn and I took a trip to the Shenandoah Caverns. It was def a bit creepy headed out that way...going to those Western areas always reminds me of my Blackness.

Shenandoah Caverns. You see that strip of bacon? More bacon coming up.

Bacon bacon bacon.

It was freezing in there, about 50 degrees.

The colored lights made this section even more beautiful.

Clearly I had to make this one larger.

There were tiny pieces of faux-glass that formed on this creation. When the tour guide lit different colored lights on the formation, the glass would disappear, then reappear.

Then we went to Vapiano for the first time in the Reston Town Center. I had a voucher from Livingsocial. I wasn't full after my calzone, which was a bit odd. I have no idea why because usually when I go out to eat I'm stuffed afterwards.  

Calzone from Vapiano.

Pesto chicken pizza. Justyn's pizza was much prettier than my calzone, but mine was the tastiest.

Of course me being greedy, I saw another restaurant I recognized and we had to stop in to try the adult milkshakes I heard about. Banana's foster milkshake pictured below.


 

 

So about this title, as a young woman in a relationship for 3 years and now 2 months, it can be a little ughhh agitating "waiting on a ring". This problem lies in me though, not my #Him. Also, every single time I log onto Facebook/IG someone's pregnant or engaged, not to mention every time I go to Justyn's house there's another wedding invite, hence my strike. I believe as a woman we're taught that becoming engaged, having a man ask you to be in his life for the remainder of his life, is one of the best moments on this Earth. I'm having a difficult time coping because of this ingrained ideology and then there's the cognitive dissonance of "the man should be just as happy as the woman". I hate the fact that when men become engaged, their friends respond with a deep sigh of agony as if they've "lost another one," it's childish and leads others to believe that men are forced to marry. Like those whack cake toppers with the bride dragging the groom. The absolute last thing I want is a pity engagement/marriage. This should not be a moment about you losing a piece of your manhood, but about a recognition that you need someone as badly as your basic needs of food, clothing, and shelter; I mean you're supposed to be monogamous prior to said engagement so you ain't losing no hoes.

 

 It's also annoying because people are always asking me "when are you 2 getting married" and I don't want to sound bitter/angry when I respond "do you see a ring on my finger" because I get asked that question all the time. Like what other response should they expect? Seriously. It's not up to me to decide when he's ready to make that commitment and it's also not up to him to decide when I'm ready. With that being said, I also can't stand the "well you're basically married already" to which my new response may be "my bills say otherwise". I am doing a pretty good job, I think, at being okay with him taking his time because the absolute last thing I want is a divorce, whenever I do get married and to whomever I get married.

 

I'm also not here for the "wifey" label. What in the world is that? I suppose it's to acknowledge that your partner has graduated from "someone you're talking to" to "girlfriend" to "serious girlfriend bka Wifey". It's a little odd to me to be slightly labeled something I'm not (a wife). I am completely comfortable with the term girlfriend and even more comfortable with partner because that seems a little more grown-up and shows that it is indeed a partnership in life.

 

So please stop asking me when I'm getting married because it will yield a smart remark like this one I just thought of "next week and you aint invited" and please stop telling me "you're practically married" because there's no such thing as as "practically married" you either are or you aren't. As you can clearly see, I'm not fond of the childish term wifey either. If you have read this and think I'm bitter, that's not it, it's a "please respect our privacy and relationship; we move how we want to move".

 

 

Now good day.