A Contoured Face = A Whiter Woman.

WOMANIST

If you're anything like me, or other females, you probably have a few group chats on your phone, separating your friendships by how you know each other "sorority sisters" "friends from home""turn up crew" and whatever else may apply to your life. In my "friends from home" chat we have been talking about make-up recently. Well myself, I've been more so listening (reading) the dialogue because I don't know specifics, I just do what works for me, and change it if I end up looking like a ghost. The topic of contouring the face had been broached and carried on for about 1-2 weeks and it really had me thinking. If you're unfamiliar with the process, contouring the face is a method by which you highlight what you want to stand out and/or draw attention away from bigger features. Myself, I usually highlight my nose if I'm wearing a full face, but don't do the entire highlight/contour process on it. This method is actually used by transgendered men/drag queens so they can look more like women.

Some women contour their entire face, meaning highlighting the forehead, drawing the dark lines down the cheekbone and then highlighting above/below, and so on and so forth. As I was reading the dialogue in the group chat, I began to realize that highlighting and contouring makes women look more ethnically diverse, or White. By contouring the nose, you look more like a White woman because it elongates the nose so it appears more pointy. By highlighting the cheekbones and doing the contour in that area you look more "modelesque" therefore more ethnically ambiguous. I began to realize that by highlighting my nose, I had been playing into the ideal of needing to look like a White woman. As a woman with natural hair who only straightens her hair twice/year, this can be direct opposites. I never want to look in the mirror and realize that I'm trying to look like another race because I'm not proud or happy with the Black features God gave me. My lips are pretty full and I love them, I don't try to hide them, my hair is big and I feel like that means I'm closer to God. I haven't always felt this way about my hair seeing as how I had been getting relaxers for over 10 years, but I grew to love what I had and not dwell on the wet and wavy Mixed Chics type of hair. I didn't need to be like them because I'm Black and I don't give a Sugar Honey Iced Tea who doesn't like my hair. 

Teacher: "Ashley" (Black girl w/ natural thick hair) take that hat off your head. Are you having a bad hair day or something? (in front of class)

Student: shakes head yes

My client: (predominantly White with straight hair) When I have a bad hair day, I just wash my hair that morning.

Me: Black girls can't do that. It takes us hours to wash our hair.

This teacher upset me because she said it so loud in class, it could have embarrassed her and it really wasn't culturally appropriate in my head.

I also had a conversation with my line sister recently, Sheena, about dating and how it's difficult for her to find quality Black men, which I believe is the case for a lot of Black women. In her words, "they want women who look ethnically diverse, they don't don't want regular Black women any more". It kind of broke my heart, to hear that come from her but I couldn't agree more. Every time I'm on Instagram there's a big booty, big tit, female who doesn't look Black, or she's a light bright with soft wash and go, loose wave hair. 

Will I continue to highlight my nose? Quite possibly, but I'll always have those tape recorded feelings of cognitive dissonance playing in my head "are you trying to look more White" "your nose isn't pointy enough".

I went out with a friend over the weekend for her birthday, she rarely ever wears makeup and someone did her makeup for her. Her words, "I look different. I don't like it. I don't look like myself when I look in the mirror". It was funny at that moment when she said it, but now I understand what she means.