For Colored Girls Who Weren't Acceptable for the Black Men They Birthed.

WOMANIST

Interracial Relationships

Black man: post picture of his White girlfriend

Black man's friends: Man I need to join you.

Black man: Yea man, come on over.

Black man's friends: daps I need me one.

This is the type of convo I witness on Instagram and Twitter on a very unfortunate, consistent basis. Black men wearing their White women as if it's a badge of honor they just received from their Boy Scout troop leader. Finally, being able to conquer the insurmountable task of acquiring a White woman. Feeling pleased that after hundreds years of want and yearning, they finally look like the good guy for winning said White woman over. I remember being asked in a Multicultural Counseling class while in school, "how do you feel about interracial relationships" most likely because of my viewpoints on race in America. I replied which continues to hold true today, "I have no issue at all with interracial relationships, people have the right to love who they want to love, however, I do take issue with people who oppose their own race". Typically, the men who brag about bagging a White woman are the same ones who complain about Black women's "attitude" and the fact that she wraps her hair at night. "I want a woman who can rock a messy ponytail and doesn't wear a hair tie". Not so subtle, passive aggressive microaggressions. I'm an extremely open minded person when it comes to marginalization and love, I support LBGTQ rights, oppose heterosexism, and etc. However I will not support a Black man who feels as though Black women do not/can not meet his status of what a woman on his arm should like, considering his own mother is Black. 

Standards of beauty is what causes many women to feel that terrible unspeakable word, insecure. It's the fact that I had to stop clicking on random female's pictures on Instagram after men have liked their picture. If I fell into the trap, I would believe that I am only worthy of a "like" when I am dressed like Nicki Minaj in ashy pink lipstick and a blonde wig. For me, I don't have it as bad as other Black women, because I'm light skinned. My struggle is far less complicated than that of darker skinned women. It's virtually impossible to see someone who looks like themselves being idolized for their beauty. I've seen this happen only a few times and it's usually a man who is much older and more self actualized. Rarely ever do I hear a Black man say "I only date dark skinned girls" it's  usually he only dates light skinned girls. The opposite has been reigning true with women saying "you are acting so light skinned" when it comes men. Treating light skinned men as if they are less of a man and more emotional. Usually when I see a Black woman dating a White man, she's dark skinned....think about it.

I broached this topic yesterday in one of my group chats and my notifications went crazy.

A few quotables...

"I don't think the issue is so much interracial dating as it is unfair exclusions in dating. Being white doesn't preclude being "hood" and being Black doesn't preclude being "refined" just be a fair judge, that's all," 

"A lot of Black men are raised by independent Black women and then society ingrains in them that the way they were raised was wrong and the woman who did it is wrong too," 

"so men not wanting Black women has a lot to do with Black men," 

"I was at a lecture talking about how Black women in general have this hard exterior and we don't want anyone to think we need them. I'm a strong Black woman, I don't need any help, I don't cry, mentality pushes people away," 

response "The I can do bad all by myself, I think, comes in large part from the women ALSO being products of a mother only household," 

and "you have to think about how the men grew up. If they were fatherless, a Black women is all they know. They may or may not want that type of woman as a wife".

Written by: The product of a brown skinned mother and a light skinned father who raised her.